Yesterday, I went to church with my little brother, Marcus.
He hardly goes to church, so when I ask him if he wants to go and he says "yes". I take him. We got there late, but it was okay. I made him put our tithes into the tithe and offering box and we sat down, listened to praise and worship music. I sang and he watched. Over all, I think he had fun.
Our pastor was not in church this past Sunday. He and his family were out of town celebrating his 31st anniversary. Congratulations Pastor Rick and Vicky! Thirty-one years is quite a feat! So church was a little different this past weekend. We had JJ preach in Pastor Rick's place and I fully enjoyed his sermon.
I'm not sure how it works, but the Lord knows when you are ready to come back to him. He knows when you are not ready. Yesterday....as I sat listening to the sermon, something inside of me..moved.
JJ preached about releasing and giving our problems to God. How we are not strong enough, or smart enough to make decisions without God. He is right. I thought about what I have been doing these past couple of weeks. Trying to figure things out on my own. I've been trying to work out a plan on what John and I should do about moving, work, school, children, family, our health. Everything....but the entire time, I was thinking and planning, working on my own. When really, I should have consulted God first before I made ANY plans. This really hit me. I've been doing this wrong. I've been just like the Israelites, knowing the rules but disobeying. I can't live my life without God. I just can't do it. I tried working things out on my own and I always end up in the hospital. PVCs were my last attack on my person, due to stress and trying to handle life without my Heavenly Father. It's amazing to watch yourself stumble again and again and never succeed.
JJ pointed out a verse in Isaih 40:29-31 "29He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, 31but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."
You mean, I'm going to fall and stumble? Make mistakes and get tired? Yeah, that's what the bible just said. In other words, we can't go through our lives without our God. He gives us strength. There was a sense of relief knowing that I can't do this on my own anymore. Then we learned of King Jehoshaphat, who lead his people to victory because he consulted the Lord FIRST before making any moves and OBEYED the word of the Lord after he was given instruction. He trusted the Lord wholeheartedly, and was rewarded for his obedience. He was delivered from his dilemma and encouraged from God himself, not to worry about his current situation. God tells him in 2Chronicles 20:15 "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's."
I've fought too many battles without God and have lost. I won't do that again. I will try not to do it again, let me say that. I fall short of His Glory, this is why he has granted us salvation through his Son, Jesus Christ.
Today, I woke up and got my husband dressed for work. I made him breakfast, and sent him on his way. He called and we read the bible together. I told him about the verses in Zechariah that I was reading, and then I jumped back to the subject preached this past Sunday. I read the story of King Jehoshaphat and his victory over his enemies. And the more I read, the more enthralled I became with this King's obedience and TRUST in God. He encouraged his people to obey and worship God so that they might be victorious, and they were. They even carried away 3 days worth of spoils and rewards due to their obedience. I should apply this behavior to my every day life. Consult God before I do anything....and see the awesome results.
I hung up with John and began to weep. I cried, got on my knees and began to pray. Just saying His name over and over again was powerful. I could feel it. I wept and wept...sobbed and cried out. I told God earlier, I understand why the whore wept and cried at your feet when she saw you. I understand why she couldn't stop crying, and why she washed your feet with her tears and her hair. The Lord has convicted me and I want to obey Him. Thank you Jesus for everything in my life. "Can I have more of you?"
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